a young(ish) Scottish poet squeaks
This is a substantially revised version of an unpublished poem that one or two readers of this blog might have seen or have heard at a reading. I'll leave it here for comment for a few days before removing it.[poem deleted]
Quite good, I think (although I am not well - virus - so I might be semi-delirious with medicine). Better than what I remember of this poem, so it's maybe been revised even since I read it?This bit:even the cough of dustshuffling down a blade of sun,that repeated "... of ..." structure - I don't know. How about "shuffling down a sunblade"?
Thanks, Rob. Yes, it has been revised significantly since you read it.I'll leave it up a little longer; maybe until Monday.
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